Editor’s Note: Fr. Ben Daghir recently had the honor to pray the invocation prayer at a dinner for basketball coaches in District 9, specifically the AML. This article is a reflection on one line from his prayer.
I recently had the unique honor to pray before high school boys and girls basketball coaches.
These coaches put in an incredible amount of time, commitment, expertise, patience, preparation, reflection, and much more. Many of them have to sacrifice time away from their families between November and March. This also doesn’t include the extra scrimmages, basketball camps, open gyms, etc. throughout the entire year.
Also, these coaches are extremely talented people. They not only communicate with their players but also parents, administration, opposing teams, assistant coaches, coaches of various grade levels in the program, referees, and emails/phone calls to organize summer leagues, camps, and much more. And, let’s accept the fact that high school coaches are not in it for the financial compensation. These coaches coach because they love it.
Many of these coaches are excellent role models to their players and communities. Despite this, their efforts can be under-appreciated and even go unnoticed. Even worse, some people may only criticize them.
With that said, what type of prayer would you give while in their presence?
One line, in particular, is worth sharing from the prayer that I gave because I think it strikes at the heart of an excellent coach. It was one line that I felt God wanted me to share with them.
I prayed, “Lord, continue to bless and guide these coaches who look far beyond the scoreboard and into the soul of their student-athletes.”
An excellent coach must win, there’s no doubt. We keep score during basketball games for a reason. We must practice to win. We must compete to win. We must play to win. The scoreboard “doesn’t lie” as they say.
But, an excellent coach desires something far more important than a lopsided scoreboard in one’s favor, a big picture on the front page of the paper, banners hanging on the gym wall, or medals around one’s neck.
An excellent coach seeks to form a student-athlete into a virtuous person.
This type of coach unleashes the potential of student-athletes (a potential some players don’t know they have without the commitment and support of a high school coach). These types of coaches inspire their athletes and help them to achieve goals and continue to raise the bar. Through prudent drills and exercises, these coaches train the bodies of their players but, more importantly, form their minds.
Excellent coaches seek to prepare student-athletes to enter into the great adventure of achieving something alongside others. Excellent coaches instill proper identity in their players, an identity rooted in the team. They challenge players to fundamentally see themselves as a teammate, as opposed to fundamentally seeing themselves as all-stars or bench players.
They teach student-athletes about the opposing teams. This includes both prudent planning against the opposing team on the court and also the camouflaged opponents. Who could these camouflaged opponents be?
It could be the voice within oneself that sometimes says, “Not worth it” or “It won’t matter at the end of the day” or “Just quit” or some other type of negative statement. Excellent coaches know how to diminish and defeat these voices in their players. Excellent coaches also know that it takes an entire program (from the elementary school to the varsity level) to defeat the camouflaged opponent of a negative mindset.
Another camouflaged opponent includes the coaches/players/parents/fans who seem to spread pessimism and fail to believe in the overarching vision. These types of opponents are quick to find weaknesses within the team and even quicker to find excuses. Anyone who has played or coached high school basketball knows that the opponent doesn’t have to wear the opposing team’s jersey. An excellent coach can convey to the team that sometimes the mirror might show the face of the real opponent.
Although these camouflaged opponents are not on the season schedule, they might be on the roster. Excellent coaches prepare to consistently defeat them. Excellent coaches know that camouflaged opponents can cause more harm than the opposing team on the court.
An excellent coach not only puts in time with the athletic players but also the ones who may never realistically see the court. These coaches know how to inspire, motivate, and challenge each player. They can find roles for each player, not just for the starting five.
Excellent coaches know the precise words to say to their team and also to individual players during very particular moments. These precise words to individual players might be in the team huddle, they might be at practice, they might be in the off-season, they might be two minutes before a championship game or they might be ten years after the player graduated from high school. Excellent coaches know that their words are intended to help the team and to assist the individual players long after the season.
Excellent coaches model what they preach. Discipline. Sacrifice. Patience. Courage. Selflessness. Honesty. Integrity. Competitiveness. Optimism. Perseverance. Enthusiasm. Confidence. Humility. Docility. Accountability. Trust. Gratitude.
Excellent coaches demand sportsmanship and honest competition. They demand professionalism while winning and losing. They demand professionalism when the entire gym is filled with people and when no one else is in the gym. Excellent coaches also know that playing time gives a player experience but so too does the bench.
It takes a very special coach to lead this demanding process for a basketball team and to remain committed to it day after day, week after week, and season after season. This is especially true for coaches who may not experience scoreboard success and who may not necessarily be supported by those around them.
It takes an excellent coach to look far beyond the scoreboard and into the soul of each player.
This is why I prayed, “Lord, continue to bless and guide these coaches who look far beyond the scoreboard and into the soul of their student-athletes.”
I was very honored to pray the invocation and also to spend time with the coaches. They are a great influence on a young priest like me, and I have much to learn from them.
+ Fr. Ben Daghir