To Be More Like My Dad

A reflection on the priesthood

Recently, I had the honor of attending a St. Andrew Dinner with Bishop Persico, several priests, and many young men from our local area. The dinner was hosted at Holy Spirit Parish in DuBois.

We had young men from DuBois Central Catholic, Elk County Catholic, Coalport, Ridgway, St. Marys, DuBois, Brockway, Clearfield, Force, and a few other towns.

St. Andrew Dinners are opportunities for young men to learn more about the priesthood. These dinners include conversations and prayer. Priests share their vocation stories. These dinners allow for the bishop to discuss various aspects of the seminary and the priesthood. There is also Q & A.

The St. Andrew Dinner in DuBois provided an opportunity for me to reflect on my own vocation story. As I listened to the other priests’ vocation stories, I was humbled and renewed in my priesthood. These vocation stories were authentic, genuine, and real.

It’s so important to return to those moments in life when God called us to a mission - to our vocation. This isn’t just a healthy thing for priests to do, but rather every baptized Christian.

I’d like to share in this article what I said to the young men at the St. Andrew Dinner when it was my turn to tell part of my vocation story.

I was roughly 21 years old at the time. I was finishing college and preparing to be a teacher. This was ten years ago and I was running into what I thought was a problem - a problem that I wouldn’t be able to resolve.

Over time, I learned that it wasn’t a problem at all. One thing is for sure, grace often works mysteriously - what appears to be a problem ends up being a solution, and what appears to be a closed door turns out to be the path to move forward.

Ten years ago I wanted to be exactly like my role model. I wanted to be just like him in every single way. I’m talking about my dad.

How could this be a problem?… Well, I also felt called to be a Roman Catholic priest.

How could I be like my dad and also be a Roman Catholic priest? At first, I felt tension with this dilemma. A Roman Catholic priest does not have a wife or children. My dad was (and still is) a happily married man with children. How could I want to be like my dad yet still feel a call to the priesthood?

I vividly remember saying this to God, “Well, that’s not fair. Why do I have both of these desires - to be just like my dad, yet also to be a Roman Catholic priest?”

Did I have to let go of one of these desires or could they both be part of God’s plan? Simon and Andrew “dropped their nets” to follow the Lord Jesus. Did this mean that I had to drop one of these desires to follow Jesus or could I hold onto both?

The Calling of St. Peter and St. Andrew by James Tissot

I shared with the young men at this St. Andrew’s Dinner that several of them are in my shoes. They feel the tension. They have a role model that they consistently look up to and admire. They want to be like this role model. But, this role model might be their dad, their grandfather, their uncle, a teacher, or a coach - and that role model is a married man and a father. Yet, they have moments of feeling a call to become a Roman Catholic priest.

How do you reconcile this? How do you move forward?

Everything I saw in my father and deeply admired is required in the priesthood.

Faithful. Humble. Love of family. Sacrificial. Good with people. Life-giving. Compassionate. A firm commitment to values. Patient. Passionate. Stern, yet flexible. Constantly thinking about others. A deep respect for tradition, yet an openness to new ways and creativity. Courageous. Perseverant. Filled with hope.

Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg. A husband and father of a family needs to be much more than what I stated above. The same holds for a priest.

I realized, after wrestling with the Lord for some time, that I could desire to be like my dad and still follow the path of the priesthood. I learned throughout seminary that it was the virtues and character of my father that I desired (and still do) but not his particular vocation. My vocation is different than my dad’s vocation: God has called me to be a priest.

The Lord has allowed my dad to be my role model. I can see certain characteristics and traits of the priesthood within him. This has been (and still is) very helpful for me.

Every day as a priest I need to be faithful and humble. I need to love my family - which is the Roman Catholic Church, the Diocese of Erie, and specifically Holy Spirit Parish and DuBois Central Catholic.

Every day as a priest I need to be sacrificial, good with people, and live-giving (through the sacraments, through preaching and teaching and evangelizing, and through living out the Gospel).

Every day as a priest I need to be compassionate and have a firm commitment to values. I need to be patient and passionate. I need to be stern, yet flexible.

Every day as a priest I need to be constantly thinking about others. I need to have a deep respect for tradition yet be open to new ways and creativity.

Every day as a priest I need to be courageous, I must persevere, and I must have hope.

Several years into priesthood, I still want to be like my dad. That hasn’t changed, nor should it.

I’ve found that the more I want to be like my dad, the more I become the priest that I’m called to be.

What appeared to be a problem has ended up greatly assisting me. What appeared to be something I needed to drop has ended up being something that I should hold onto. What appeared to be a closed door has turned out to be a path to move forward.

I was honored to be with these young men discerning a call to the priesthood. Please pray for them. There is much hope for tomorrow. God is calling and our young people are listening.

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+ Fr. Ben Daghir